Battle of The Tiny Bulge

photo courtesy of www.popsugar.com

     I have a love-hate relationship with working out. The only time I remember enjoying a workout was when I was training for CAT. I enjoyed the pain that it brought on my body. I also enjoyed the positive changes in my body. Eventhough I was very slim, I felt very strong, I had a flat but firm tummy and I could outlast almost  everyone in my training class in a marathon.

     But after that, everything seems to just go in a downward spiral. I put on a lot on weight in college for reasons I do not know. I enjoyed sleeping a lot. Even when I was in our student publication office, people would catch me taking two hour naps. After graduating, I got a job that had night shifts.That didn't help in making me lose the weight. I chugged down crazy amounts of soda, and snacked my way through my shifts. When I realized that it was becoming a problem, I did what any self-respecting person would do in a time a like this. Crash diet. I stopped eating rice, concentrated on eating wheat bread. I also limited my sleeping to about 4-6 hours. In the course of two months, I lost a lot of weight. I also looked like I snorted an entire bag of cocaine in one sitting. From then on, I worked on gaining some weight whiel still eating healthily. During my time in my first job, I managed to instill a level of discipline that allowed me to stave off any possible crazy weight gains that comes with working in the night shift. 

     Now that I'm working from home, it's become pretty evident that I have lost that discipline. Although I still feel strong, I have gained a belly from all the sitting. It also didn't helped that I was once again consuming crazy amounts of soda to keep up with Allan's night time body clock. That is why I have take n the necessary steps in trying to be healthy again. Aside from lowering my rice intake, I have started working out. I still enjoy sweating it out. The only thing that annoys me is some of the workout programs that I follow has some weird illustrations on how to do some of the exercises, that it somehow impedes my momentum.

     But since I've alrady started, there's no stopping now. 

Hey, thanks.

photo courtesy of www.ipsacleadvalentinquiroga.blogspot.com

     Today, I would like to talk about appreciation. Ever since I was young, I was taught to appreaciate the things around me. From the food that I ate, the clothes I wore, and even the act of kindness done to me. I have always been grateful to the people who have helped me along the way. 

     That's the reason why I'm always horrified to hear someone being unappreciative of the things being done for them. I remember a time when I would whine about a lot of things. I would complain and complain non-stop and felt that I was being cheated out of something that should've been mine. I was resentful at the people around me for being in the state that we are in. I neglected to notice their efforts in making sure that I at least have what I needed.

     Now that I'm working in an industry where you constantly have to hustle, it is both a humbling and character-building experience to be appreciative of the efforts of the people around you and how they have helped you in whatever form. It also taught me to not just appreciate others but also be grateful to my own efforts. Learning how to appreciate one's self is a constant battle with the rejections left and right, but it is such a good feeling to have when you pat your own back when you've done a good job at work or when you've done something for the people you love to make their lives comfortable. 

     Sadly, sometimes appreciation is not our default emotion in handling certain situations. 

Wired In

     

photo courtesy of www.news.discovery.com

     Today was an ok day at work. I managed to do everything I needed to do within my shift and I was also able to squeeze a couple side social media projects. I also was able to hear mass online. All of these activities made me realize that I was hooked up to my laptop for almost 12 hours.

     While working from is still one the best things that I decided to embark on, there are times when it takes over my life and almost everything I do is online. Except for banking and paying bills. Cause I'm paranoid like that. Hahaha.

     I talk a lot about not relying too much on gadgets and the internet and I still believe that we still could have lives minus these things, but it just offers so much convenience that while it makes things easier for us, it also sometimes isolates us from the people around us. In my case, there are times where I rarely get to swap stories with the people in this house because I'm working. The only time I get to gossip with them is when I'm done or when there's a light workload for that day, But we always try to find ways to savor and appreciate the time that we get to spend together. 

     On the upside, listening to mass was more tolerable since I don't have to worry about the heat and church goers chit chatting. So there. 

Yes, Let's Do This

photo courtesy of www.kaneadvice.wordpress.com

     My continuing feeling of loneliness still envelops my entire being. As much as I want to interact with people today, it just feels like I'm not getting anywhere. Probably because I feel ignored. I am used to not being the center of attention. I enjoy doing things better when people aren't crowding around me. But, now that I've forging relationships with people, the feeling of being ignored or being swept under the rug hurts more, because they are from the ones that you care the most. 

     So what's a lonely boy got to do on a Saturday afternoon? I decided to embrace this lonely feeling and went to Quiapo just to explore. It always amazes me that I'm still able to discover new things. For a moment I felt like being embraced by a friend who's been waiting for me. 

     Being lonely ain't that bad, sometimes.

Loneliness

photo courtesy of www.necessarygames.com

     Growing up as an only kid, I never really felt lonely while I was going through my childhood. Not having friends to play with, I was contented to play by myself and read books. 

     But as one grows up and starts to form relationship whether romantic or not, opening yourself and letting other people in can sometimes make you feel more alone and lonely than before. 

     Loneliness sometimes feels like a long lost friend that you haven't seen for a long time. Maybe an embrace and a chit chat wouldn't hurt. 

Crowning Worry

photo courtesy of www.youtube.com

     I have let my hair grow out thrice. The first time was motivated by a heartbreak, coupled by massive amounts of laziness. The second time was the realization that having a wolf's tail (before it became a fad) was not the right style for me. The third was finally realizing that I should stick what works for me. 

     Growing my hair out has never been a problem to me. Female parental unit used to take me to the barber every month because my hair would grow out that quick. The funny thing is, when I decided to let it grow, my hair would not cooperate, especially the third time. 

     Lately, I've noticed a lot of hair falling off of my head. From our bed up to the bathroom, there are clumps of hair lying around. Although, I don't see any bald spots on my head, it is pretty alarming to see that many hair fall out of you. It might be because I got sick late last year. We thought it was dengue, but it wasn't but it still rendered me unusable for almost a week. Maybe the trauma that body went through is now just manifesting through my hair.

     I should be freaking out about this, but that does not help and it might only aggravate the state of affairs that my hair is going through right now. The best way to deal with this is to just chill, make myself as healthy as I could be, and take extra care of my hair

Incision and Drainage

photo courtesy of www.chefreinvented.com

     I rant a lot. Probably more than I should. Especially back when I was at my old job. It was my way of dealing the stress brought about my work. I barely remember the times when I just held it in or dea lt with it besides going on full verbal diarrhea mode. But over the years, I have slowly learned to channel that energy into dealing with the things I'm frustrated with. Though they might not always work or have the outcome that I want, it made me less ranty and more mindful of how I am when I'm dealing with a very stressful situation. 

     Working from home still has its challenges and could be as toxic as an office environment, but since I've learned to channel my frustrations, I have handled it better and made me a better listener at least to the nearest person ranting about their day.

     I've known Allan to be a patient and understanding man especially at work. Though he does not tolerate stupidity and inefficiency, he will be the first one to address the problem at hand and will look for long term solutions. And I'm envious at him for having this kind of foresight and resolve. Today was a different thought. He came on late from work and went to vent about certain issues right off the bat. I have learned ago to not go head-to-head with him and just listen to him until finishes. When he had finished I offered a couple of suggestions to him and asked if it was really the reason for his frustrations. Even at the height of his exasperation, he still knew what he needed to do and just wanted someone to unload his rants to. 

     For some, it might seem that I might be taking a lot by taking on his vents and it could be detrimental to me. I love the guy and I will continue to absorb his frustrations and fears and put into good use. That's what you do to the people you love. 

Naejot memēbātās!

photo courtesy of www.deopavanstan.info

     The thing about the start of the month is that it gives us a feeling that we can start over again and learn from the things that have happened in the previous month. 

     I am not like this. The things that have happened to me these past months will continue to linger and probably nag their way back, so the best thing is to just confront them and hopefully get to learn something new.

     I was supposed to look for a 30 Day Writing Challenge since I saw some social media friends complete theirs, but seeing I failed on my previous attempt, what I'm going to do is just write for 30 days. No planned topic. Just write whatever I find interesting that day. 

     No promises, but fully jumping in head first.