Look Back

photo courtesy of www.ebay.com

     The last two weeks of February tested my overall perspective on how people really view and I how people. Add to that my concern for my laptop's mobility issues. While I was relieved to find out about how my friends really feel about the LGBT community, I was somewhat disappointed to find out that some people who I've considered as family look at the community I belong to as somewhat inferior. It was painful to accept, that you are only relevant, you are only appreciated when you are being useful to them. And not because you are a human being that should be treated with equal dignity and respect. 

     What I did not expect was my parents lack of disgust towards these people. Probably because they're not directly affected,and that it's hard for them to put themselves in my place. Maybe because I was expecting that they will tell me words of encouragement and show me that I am not something inferior in their eyes. These thoughts had me doubting if they really accepted who I am. That's something I had to work through. Up until now.

     It pains me to write this because save for Allan, my family is the only unit that I hold dear in my heart. I grew up knowing how close we are. But I love them. And love will always win. Always. 

Because He Needs Us

photo courtesy of www.usapost.org

     Looks like Manny Pacquiao got the biggest punch of his life. During an interview, he was asked about same-sex marriage and he compared it to how animals do it. I think everyone has read the interview and has seen the video so we'll skip the blow-by-blow account. After receiving a barrage of punches from different social media users, Pacquiao has uploaded an apology video for his statement. It is important to note though, he still thinks that a homosexual act is still a sin.

     I'll skip all the counter arguments that Pacquiao made about the LGBT community since there are so many people who are qualified to do that. What I would like to get off my chest is the level of inhuman thinking that came out of this statement. Not only did he degrade the LGBT community but is also perpetuating homophobia under the guise of religion. Since he's also running for a Senate seat, it is not surprising that he'll say something this low. Not only did make it relevant but him uploading an apology video only hours after the social media backlash shows that this is a calculated move. The apology insincere video projects an image that he listens if he is on the wrong and he's willing to humble himself. 

     Like as if that would work. Surprisingly, it might will. Pacquiao is not really known for his legislative skills and attendance but crafting this election given our predilection to forget the wrong doings of these bastards (the Marcoses, anyone?) might just get him elected. 

     It is up to the voters that understands the situation to turn this around. You don't have to campaign for the ones you like, but you can campaign against for those that only uses hot button issues to be the center of social media frenzy.  

   

Wired Heart

photo courtesy of www.wallpaperspal.com

     I decided to ask Allan out to have a breakfast date. It was also Valentine's Day yesterday. It was a fun date. It took a more corporate feel as talked about goals and other things about our relationship. This approach has worked for us since it allows us to be less emotional and look at it in a more logical way. Even during misunderstandings, we've dealt with it by going on a more business-like handling. This might sound boring for you, especially from someone who is in relationship.

     Tachikoma, my laptop is still not fixed. The wireless function is still not working and I'm still tied to hooking it up in a router with an ethernet cable. It's a bit limiting since I tend to move around the house while working. Now it feels like being in an office work desk. 

    Hopefully, I'll get the time this week to have fixed and have back to its working condition. 

Glitch

photo courtesy of www.mobileoffice.about.com

     One of the perks of working from your home is the ability to work in anywhere in your house. You can even work outside and get some sun while you're at it. 

     My laptop decided that wired connections is still the hottest thing.

     Last night before going to bed, I checked on some of the things that I was downloading and left it as it is. When I woke up Allan was on my laptop watching a movie. We switched places since I was about to start working when I realized that the wireless function of my laptop is not working. We did the basic trouble shooting steps, and even went as far as uninstalling and reinstalling the wireless adapter. 

     Still not working.

     The whole incident affected my work and made me finish pretty late. It also brought a lot of stress since I'm running out of steps to do to fix the issue. Today's episode has made me feel doubly tired and I just want to sleep for like a hunrded years.

     But seriously, can anyone help me?

Too Tired to Function

photo courtesy of www.quotesgram.com

     I was too tired to write an entry yesterday. 

     I'm still too tired to write one today. Working, cooking and doing the laundry took a lot out of my usual energetic self today. I wasn't even hurrying to finish one task to move on the next. I guess I really have to be in the zone more often to get things done and still have the energy for other things.

     Well, tomorrow is a new day. We'll try again. 

Expedition

photo courtesy of www.panahon.tv

     Female Parental Unit and I have been planning to go to Divisoria for the longest time. Given that I work every day and get off from work at 2 PM, we had to make sure that we'll make the most of our time there. We don't want to go on a weekend because we know it'll packed and we also don't want to stay there exploring until night time. I started to think that for a couple of things that we wanted to check out, a lot of factor and planning is involved.

     So we decided to go today and even before we got there, our plan started to hit a snag. The jeep took a different rout. We got off in front of 999 Mall. Female Parental Unit and I were not familiar with area, but we thought it would be a good chance to explore the building and see what we'll find. 

     We've only been there for less than half an hour and I already managed to buy all the things that I want. Since it was still early, we thought we'd get something to eat. After that we decided we'd check out 168 Mall as well. It was a little more packed with stalls and people that we felt a bit overwhelmed that we just settled with just looking around the ground floor. 

     When we decided to head back home, we realized that all of the road repairs and rerouting in the area has thrown off whatever sense of direction I have. And since Female Parental Unit is also not familiar with the new surroundings, we ended up asking for directions, which I still feel is a failure of my being a human being. 

     We're both tired, but we definitely enjoyed our exploration. And we promised each other that we'll go back there. 

CNY

photo courtesy of www.pinoycookingrecipes.com

     Today is the Chinese New Year. A lot of people went to Chinatown in Binondo to celebrate and get some items that they believe will bring them goof luck.

     One of the traditions that we sort of follow in celebrating the Chinese New Year is serving tikoy or rice cake. It said to bring the family closer together since the rice cake is sticky and keep the relationship harmonious with its sweet flavor. We normally just coat the rice cake with a beaten egg and fry it. This year we gave a couple of rice cakes to our neighbors and we also received several boxes of them. I guess it pays when your female parental unit is one of the most sociable people you've met. 

     Even if you don't practice any of the traditions that comes with the Chinese festivity or you go all-out, always remember that celebrating the start of the year allows us to start fresh and gives us a chance to better people not just for ourselves but for those around us. 

Easy

photo courtesy of www.de.union.de

     Work was light today. I also woke up late. The second sentence does not justify anything. The first sentence is true despite encountering some connection issues. Technical difficulties like these limits this country and the potential work from home workforce to being more productive and a big income generating sector for the country.

     Even if it was a light day today, there were some parts that I don't remember. Like seeing female parental unit cook our lunch. My work station is close to the dining table where she preps the things the she'll cook. I don't remember seeing that. It's probably because I haven't been sleeping as much as I should these past few days. 

     So I'm going to hit the sack now! 

Damp and Wet

photo courtesy www.amoremiobello.wordpress.com

     The rain couldn't come any sooner.

     It had been humid the past few days, especially during the afternoon. I had the unfortunate time of basking in all of its brain melting heat glory when I home to Malacanang. 

     While I was doing the laundry yesterday, the sky began to darken and I thought that it was going to rain after. I had to rush and finish my chore and I possibly pulled some muscles because of it. 

     The rain apparently started to pour today. It would've been ideal to just stay in bed and sleep, but I had work. Bummer. The slow downpour brought me a joy I normally feel when the rainy season start. Others may feel introspective and just chill whenever it rains, but I feel different. I feel more energized. Its as if the rain revitalizes something inside of me and makes me want to do more. 

     And I did just that. I ran several software tests on my laptop, deleted some old files, read a couple of chapters of a book, and even manage to write this blog. Heck, I even took a nap because I could sneak that in the things I could accomplish today, Harhar.

     I hope that everyone is safe and dry today. Be with your friends and family and make this a cuddle day for you to remember! 

Craving

 photo courtesy of www.21food.com

     I was so tired from doing the laundry and running some errands that I literally fell asleep after getting home. 

     I have been craving for some chip for quite sometime and I decided to go and buy one after doing the laundry. So I went to Recto where the chips that I was craving for would be found. On my way there, the crown started to get thick. It was a Friday and I think a payday for some folks, so it's just right that everyone will be out. I realized that no matter how many people describe Recto as dangerous and seedy, I never felt that at all. Well, I guess seedy fits, but for the longest time that I have been frequenting Recto, I have never felt an ounce of danger no matter what time I go there. I remember that I spent the night at convenience store while I was reading and writing. I just feels like a home to me. The maddening crowd. The dubious characters. The stench of after sex and everything illegal. All of that feels familiar. 

     So fuck gentrification. 

     I found the store, bought the chips and went back home. 

Snoozing Out

photo courtesy of www.littlebrownsparrowco.com

     For the past couple of days, I have been missing out on my normal sleep time. It's so bad that I have to take a nap while working or else I stop functioning normally. 

     That is why I'm hitting the sack early. Enjoy your day. 

Missed Target

photo courtesy of www.presentermedia.com

     I missed a blog post. Damn it. 

     And only on the third day. 

     We'll just try to be more consistent eh? 

Yup, I still do.

photo courtesy of www.myphilwong.com

     Every time I come home to Allan in Pasig, the feeling of anticipation and giddiness. I hardly make any facial expression, but whenever I get lost in the thoughts of seeing him just puts me in a dazed smile. It transports me back to the first time that I went to his old place. 

     I am bad at commuting and I have the tendency to get lost. My sense of direction is bad and also I'm so stubborn that I wouldn't ask people for directions for fear that they might think of me as stupid for getting lost. When I went to his place, he told me to just get on the bus going to his area and tell the bus conductor where I was getting off and that was it. I did just that. The travel time was longer than I expected and I started getting antsy. I sent him a text message and he replied that I should not worry because I am going to a place where love is and he'll be right there. 

     He might kill me if he gets to read this.

     

     Much like my first experience in commuting to Allan's place, my writing has always felt like that. It makes me excited and pumped up once I've dealt with my initial apprehensions. Even if I couldn't find anything to write about, I'm just raring to go and just write. The only difference that starts to appear is that I never get tired or bogged down seeing Allan. Not so much with writing. There are times when I would just be too brain dead to even open word document and type something. And then it snowballs from there.

     Keeping it my view fresh and allotting small amount of time should help in being consistent and not feel like its a task of sorts. 

     I can do this.  

Going Back To The Start

photo courtesy of www.thequotepedia.com

     The start of the month for me always meant a new beginning. As cheesy as it sounds, the turning of the month has always made me want to start something. In this case, writing. Again.

     

     Before, I used to think that since I consume a lot of content of varying topics, it would be easy to just write about something on a daily basis. I was wrong. Not only could I not come up with daily and random topics to put here, but I also gave up easily because I would get tired from my day job. There would be times where I question myself if I'm passionate about writing as I thought I was. 

     Everyone wants to be writer. People thought that being a writer gives them a certain kind of wisdom. A profound knowledge of the world at large. I believe in that too. But given how lackluster my "performance" here, it might not be the case. I'm not close to being wise or profound. My views are still selfish and sometimes myopic, and they probably would not change because I'm a stubborn ass.

     But since it is the start of the month, I can at least try and start to be a better version of what I am and my passion. Fingers crossed in maintaining the momentum.